OP as a black person myself, I want you to know you may not feel this way, but when the chips are down a lot of times it’s black people you can count on to have your back, not see you as violent when your a little angry, and give you a leg up when they are in a position to. You can have these things and still resent the diversity thing that white people push, which I believe is a scam and actually often contains a lot of racism they don’t know about