About half of the 30 or so bands I have played with have been abandoned after a couple of gigs, or non at all.
Mostly I've only just played music for fun. It's much more fun (and certainly easier) playing at some friend's house every week for 18 months than it is to book performances, market the band, produce works for the public, etc.
I have a sticker on my truck that says "This Sticker Will Last Longer Than Your Band", and that's been true.
I don't regret learning to play the entirety of Dark Side of the Moon and performing it once. I know so much Grateful Dead. I've play dozens and dozens of original songs written by friends that won't ever get any attention outside of the 20 people who were paying attention at some bar.
I've also played with more commercially focused endeavors and have an idea of the horrors of trying to tour and manage the commercial aspects of music. It's not like most of these bands were any worse or could not have been marketed.
I've played with a lot of folks who have only ever been in one or two bands.
The thing I find interesting about all that is this point:
they usually vastly underestimate how much work it takes to market a band
and at the same time (I find this a little beautiful) they vastly underestimate the goodness of their own musical output.
Just because projects don't succeed commercially does not mean they aren't well made or that these projects are not worth doing in as things in themselves.
I am in the same situation at the moment and it is a bit sad. I've been trying to do more "solo" work because I'm the only constant in my musical journey. I envy bands that last for a long time because they can make it work, but I had to travel a lot and it made it impossible to have a band that would endure even the smallest of hiatus.
At the same time, every time I am with musicians that "made it" only talk about how miserable is to tour and how horrible it is to be constantly doing music for a living, so I feel lucky to make money out of software development. But I guess the stupid teenage dream still lives somewhere in me.
I've been in bands that have played hundreds of gigs together, and I've traveled a bit to make music. Fortunately, I have never -had- to do that. It's not fun, it doesn't pay well (compared to my software work), and the big payoffs all seem to be about the short term validation of larger audiences and better production.
To be fair, that has a lot of appeal.
I've also gotten a lot out of bands that are just like, "guys night out for bowling". Way more than the long term commercially functioning bands, actually.
We just meet up and play every week (when we can), usually in the early evening or after my buddys' kiddos have gone to bed.
Once I leaned into the idea that these friendships were important both for me (as an old, single almost-pro musician) and my buddies (who have careers and wives and youngsters), the idea that simply playing (and practicing to support my friends) became really rewarding as an end in itself.
That appreciation really changes the dynamics, because I select more for how I get along with the people than I do for chops or genera.
The dream of taking that kind of band out isn't stupid or immature, nor is the dream of just having to play music for a living.
I have found that it's just so much easier and just as much fun to do "bowling night" at someone's house, and so much easier to make my money doing software.
I don't think there is anything sad in that situation.
I've worked a lot on bass- last nights gig was a songwriter duo where I played upright. However, I've never been one to change my setup much. Maybe 12 or so years ago I bought a markbass and and a pbass... and I haven't even wanted to change the flat-wound strings on it.
Mostly I've only just played music for fun. It's much more fun (and certainly easier) playing at some friend's house every week for 18 months than it is to book performances, market the band, produce works for the public, etc.
I have a sticker on my truck that says "This Sticker Will Last Longer Than Your Band", and that's been true.
I don't regret learning to play the entirety of Dark Side of the Moon and performing it once. I know so much Grateful Dead. I've play dozens and dozens of original songs written by friends that won't ever get any attention outside of the 20 people who were paying attention at some bar.
I've also played with more commercially focused endeavors and have an idea of the horrors of trying to tour and manage the commercial aspects of music. It's not like most of these bands were any worse or could not have been marketed.
I've played with a lot of folks who have only ever been in one or two bands.
The thing I find interesting about all that is this point:
they usually vastly underestimate how much work it takes to market a band
and at the same time (I find this a little beautiful) they vastly underestimate the goodness of their own musical output.
Just because projects don't succeed commercially does not mean they aren't well made or that these projects are not worth doing in as things in themselves.