"I wanted a university ID. I wanted access to a fancy library and benefits and students and colleagues and travel money. I wanted the whole stupid kingdom. “And then what? ... You’re better off,” says my mother."
When I arrived at college, I soon thought I wanted that. It took me years to get over the college movies, and music, and stories, and to see the place as it was. Lots of great people, lots of great resources, and ... the time.
A few of the profs whose courses I took seemed to actually have the gift, enjoyed teaching ... they measurably helped me to improve my capabilities. Some clearly were unsatisfied, read from the same notes every year, made fun of the popular courses. One, whose office I only glanced in on once from curiosity, jumped off a bridge.
It's a complex world, and not always a fit one for outsiders. Now and then I still wonder what might have been. But the books, movies, music ... they're fairy tales.
When I arrived at college, I soon thought I wanted that. It took me years to get over the college movies, and music, and stories, and to see the place as it was. Lots of great people, lots of great resources, and ... the time.
A few of the profs whose courses I took seemed to actually have the gift, enjoyed teaching ... they measurably helped me to improve my capabilities. Some clearly were unsatisfied, read from the same notes every year, made fun of the popular courses. One, whose office I only glanced in on once from curiosity, jumped off a bridge.
It's a complex world, and not always a fit one for outsiders. Now and then I still wonder what might have been. But the books, movies, music ... they're fairy tales.