What I'm doing with my life is both serious and entertaining. I laugh at myself all the time because some of the things I do are genuinely hilarious!
I stopped showering for 4 days after initial success with trying to see a stick figure that moves with my body on the back of my closed eyelids.
The persistent thought haunting me?
"What if it's all in my head?"
Fucking with your mind fucks with your mind, typically in very funny ways.
As for not being able to understand any of this stuff, perception is key to learning. Perhaps practice choosing to believe things? Start with small, easy to believe things that are inconsequential to your life, but still meaningful. An example would be temporarily choosing to believe an opposing political stance has merit and then seeking the merit. Everyone has a reason for believing what they do, so go find perfectly valid reasons to believe something crazy. It'll get easier to do the more you practice.
If you want a simpler practice, go "look at the space between branches" and enjoy the different spaces you find. The skill progression comes from loosening your definition of the words in that phrase. Here's a starting point: go from finding 2D shapes to 3D ones.
I stopped showering for 4 days after initial success with trying to see a stick figure that moves with my body on the back of my closed eyelids.
The persistent thought haunting me?
"What if it's all in my head?"
Fucking with your mind fucks with your mind, typically in very funny ways.
As for not being able to understand any of this stuff, perception is key to learning. Perhaps practice choosing to believe things? Start with small, easy to believe things that are inconsequential to your life, but still meaningful. An example would be temporarily choosing to believe an opposing political stance has merit and then seeking the merit. Everyone has a reason for believing what they do, so go find perfectly valid reasons to believe something crazy. It'll get easier to do the more you practice.
If you want a simpler practice, go "look at the space between branches" and enjoy the different spaces you find. The skill progression comes from loosening your definition of the words in that phrase. Here's a starting point: go from finding 2D shapes to 3D ones.